This story of mine probably happened to you too. When I was in grade school, I had a friend who always lands on the top ten of the entire batch every end of the quarter. During that time, the so-called geniuses were not your average nerds who wear dorky glasses and always hang out in the library. They play sports, drown themselves in video games, sing with the choir, do some presentation with the theatre club, or throw parties at their house. They were, in short, the cool ones.

My friend Marvin* was one of those guys. I secretly envied him for many years. I would hang out with him, hoping his genius gene would somehow crawl into my veins so I can easily go through math like an Olympic hockey player playing against a rookie. We always have these 'intellectual conversations', trying to squeeze each other's brains for information - things that the other did not know and would want to know. It was a game. And often, I lose because he would mention some things I had never heard of - something he read in the ginormous Encyclopedia or some expensive journal.

As my envy grew stronger, I pushed myself to compete with Marvin every single quarter. I would work harder, stay in the library, and read more, pick up the trash (hoping to have some sort of cleanliness award), help the teacher carry her bag (known as the early phase of kissing ass) and mirror his interests. However, they didn't work. They never worked. The closest I got was at top 16 in a class of 42. And where was Marvin? Top 1 - from the entire batch of 294 - yet again.

Why did I suddenly think about this story? Because I just finished reading Malcolm Gladwell's book called 'Outliers'. It's probably one of the most interesting books I've ever read. The best value for my 300 bucks.

The book talks about how we view success as a product of hardwork, determination and persistence. Sure those things are important ingredients. But one important thing to look at when asking why one person is successful is his background. I agree with Gladwell's conclusion that success of some people are not exceptional  but grounded by ' a web of advantages and inheritances, some deserved, some not, some earned, some just plain lucky - but all critical to making them who they are. The outlier, in the end, is not an outlier at all.'

In one of the chapters, he talks about why Asian students perform better than American students. It makes sense: Asian schools like in the Philippines have more school days than American schools. Here, we only have two months of Summer break while in the US - they have almost 3 months. Also, there are special schools (like Science High Schools) where a student has more subjects and longer school time than any other student. It provides more OPPORTUNITY for the student to learn more and outlearn the other.

Going back to the case of Marvin and me - Gladwell's thesis explains why he would always win against me. After all, Marvin's family was well off. He had access to informational magazines. He travelled to several countries during summer. His parents can afford to pay for special classes. He had all those opportunities for growth. He was outlearning me while I was playing outside with my friends. There was no freaking way I could compete with someone who spent a lot of time learning all the stuff I didn't know about.

After going through the first few chapters, I realized Gladwell is basically saying we're all fucked up because there can only be one Bill Gates or Donald Trump and their string of opportunities. Rich will be richer. I will never get that kind of success. Then I looked at myself in the mirror and analyzed my own string of opportunities:

When I started as an entry-level employee at my previous company, I wanted so badly to climb up the ladder and be a leader. Unfortunately, I wasn't given that opportunity for two things - I was still incredibly immature and management just basically didn't see that potential in me. My solution was to move to a new company and find my grand opportunity an seize it.

After four months, an opening was published and I applied for the post. Sadly, I didn't get the job. I was disheartened. However, the department I was working at was growing and they needed new supervisors. I had no interest at all because I didn't think I could handle the job. But my supervisor then was the one who pushed me to go for it. And so I did - and I got the job. I was a supervisor for more than three years.

But I know very well that success doesn't end with one goal. You always aim higher. So I moved from one department to another - searching for that new golden opportunity. Finally, one was presented to me when my former boss resigned and I was asked to take her place. It would be easy to say with pride that I worked hard to get this but the truth is even though I worked so hard and she didn't leave the company, I would still be doing the same thing I was doing last year. It was a mix of both effort and advantage that allowed me to be where I am today.

Lesson learned: it's not bad to admit that we all just got lucky! Sure we work hard - very hard for things we want in life but it takes an ounce of humility to admit that yeah, I didn't do it all by myself.

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